10/18/2015–Mentorship is solicited guidance.
The purpose of mentorship is similar to feedback from a boss to a direct–effective behavior in the future. With this core principle in mind, the effective mentor is able to deliver valuable info in an efficient way. He or she ideally tailors everything they say with the idea that each conversation will resolve in a better understanding of “what to do” (even if guidance doesn’t include any recommendations and is only a targeted series of questions). Since this and all relationships are simply series of communications, it can take various shapes depending on the preferences and limits of the mentor and mentee.
Though the end result of effective behavior is the same as a manager/direct relationship, the crucial difference is the lack of role power helping a manager when they give guidance. A manager controls (in a way) an employee’s money; thus any “guidance” from the manager is by definition worth more than guidance from a mentor, except in the case where a mentor holds enough relationship power or admiration from the mentee to make up for “not controlling his/her money”. For this reason, it is a requirement of an effective mentoring relationship to have the mentee solicit guidance form a mentor of their choosing. “Assigned” and “team” mentorships are handicapped. The mentee who doesn’t choose their mentor has very little reason to follow guidance outside the scope of “because they’re an expert” or a high-achiever. In these situations, the mentor is usually giving great guidance, but it falls on deaf ears to most mentees since there’s no admiration. “Would you persuade, think of interest, not of reason.” Mentorship (like almost all communication) is persuasion, so it’s effective when the recipient wants it or feels good about following guidance, not when they “know it’s best for them”.
Proponents of paired mentor programs argue two things to support assigned mentors:
- If mentees are “serious” about developing themselves they should recognize the opportunity they have “to be mentored” (usually by this “expert”).
- They point to the examples when assigned mentors have been effective and try to argue that the success of these situations proves it can work.
In the first case, they’re taking a logical–even correct/accurate–approach. It’s true that mentors are usually assigned only if they’re proven effective in their job. The problems are that they’re good at their job, not proven good at being a mentor. Also, we simply don’t take advice from people we don’t trust, and trust doesn’t come from expertise alone.
The second argument is flawed because mentorship can be successful if the assigned mentor has mutual interests with the mentee, but it’s not because they were assigned. They likely lucked into getting a mentee who would otherwise naturally pick them for mentorship. This is an apparent success, but is in spite of the assignment, not due to it.
QOTW: “Can’t let passion get in the way of purpose.” Bajpai
?FNW: Do I get on track with diet? Yes, thanks to K-Fit challenge
11/21/2017 review–After having a handful of official mentors now–some selected by me, some assigned–I have more data. Essentially, my experience supports what I had written here. The relationship is productive depending on how much I admire the mentor. Random success from assigned mentorship is inevitable. Basic statistics teaches random sampling will provide some random correlation, but this shouldn’t be confused as cause and effect.
Thus, it’s my duty to select people I admire as mentors, but for the right reasons. I’ve learned from each mentor, and have implemented their recommendations regardless of how we came to connect. However, the relationships with mentors I’ve admired most far outweigh the rest. This has little to do with the qualify of the guidance I’m getting and everything to do with my interest in what they’re saying. Admiration seems to be a reliable indicator of how I value the experience.
Still, I’d consider admiration necessary but insufficient. The selection of your mentor should also take into consideration the person’s experience in the area you’re seeking mentorship. If you’re seeking mentorship in handling your first year with a company, it’s probably smart to have a mentor who has experienced that situation, as well as seen others close-up in that situation since moving on. Ideally, your mentor should be someone who has multiple perspectives of the environment you’re in or seeking.